''Random rumblings-1''

Every so often at the traffic signal, outside the garden, or at any other random place of public gathering, it's not hard to miss little boys in tattered clothes, with toys in their hands, which they know they are never meant to play with. The toy-sellers. Your heart feels saddened knowing that theirs is a childhood that's never meant to play with toys but to sell one. How ironically poignant it is??
They sell toys to the more privileged kids and find happiness and these privileged kids in turn get happiness as they get to play with their favourite toys.
How inconsistent then is the definition of HAPPINESS??
Is happiness then a byproduct of our need or greed??
For a boy who sells a toy, happiness arises out of his need, a need for money, for survival. For a boy who already has plenty of toys waiting at home, happiness arises out of his greed.

Irony is life in action, a balance of opposites in perfect magnitude.
For every suicide attacker, we ve a soldier ready to be a martyr. For every weed, we ve a blossoming flower. For every ugly moth we ve a beautiful butterfly.
The world runs on a balance of opposites. We call that stark reality a contrast, nature calls it a law of existence.

But, is the toyseller never meant to buy toys for himself then? That's a question for which I have no answers. Yes, with time to come, we can only hope there are less toy sellers and more toy buyers. That's my wish for the new year.
But that's a wish too utopian.
May be there can be more even distribution of resources some day, until then, buy a toy from the toy seller, and gift it to someone and make both happy. That's the little we can do to keep the economy circulating, for the stable economy is the one where money changes hands frequently, isn't it?

Just some random rumblings....

- Devashish Palkar

Ahead of Mumbai ODI, Imran Tahir sells all his property in Pakistan!

 A satirical article which got more than 12 thousand shares!!
http://www.criclife.com/humour/satires/ahead-of-mumbai-odi-imran-tahir-sells-all-his-property-in-pakistan-54724  

''Alok Nath to play a cameo role in the next Bond movie!''

''Alok Nath to play a cameo role in the next Bond movie!''

In the land that gave the world Kama Sutra, new James Bond movie, SPECTRE has been censored by Indian film board and has been asked to remove the kissing scenes which features the lead, Daniel Craig.
It has come as a great surprise to its Hollywood producers who are now wondering how a sanskari country like India became the world's second most populous country in the first place!
The Hollywood producers of  Bond flick said, ''This was something we didn't expect. James Bond is loved by all. This is intolerance! I think it's a deliberate move to save the image of Emraan Hashmi as the sole kisser boy of Indian cinema. We have asked Mr. Mark Zuckerberg to stop all posts with #SanskariJamesBond .
You can't troll James Bond like that!''

However, an Indian Bond fan has come to the rescue of producers. He has made a great suggestion by asking the producers to rope in Alok Nath, the most sanskari actor of India to play a camero role in next Bond flick along with Daniel Craig. The bond fan, Akshay 007 said, ''If Alok Nath plays even a second's  role, the censor board will believe that the movie is totally sanskari and then even give the movie a U certificate without even having to censor the scenes!''

Meanwhile, after learning about this development, the producers of Jungle Book are now worried that their movie will also face the wrath of censor board as it has a boy roaming around in a jungle semi naked with only a chaddi! 
Who knows, Alok Nath might again grab the role in Jungle Book which should easily put him in an elite club of Bollywood actors acting in Hollywood which until now only Irrfan Khan and Anil Kapoor were proud of.

- Devashish Palkar

''A Girl in the Valley!''

''A Girl in the Valley!''

Blessed with natural beauty, she lives in a world where she believes magic can happen every day. Mostly, it is because of the bed time stories her grandma narrates her; of flying reindeers, of talking trees, of charming princes and angelic fairies.. There is nothing wrong in the world of this 4 year old daughter of nature. Her world is in perfect order, a state of blissful harmony where her grandma tells her stories all day long while her mother spends most of her time looking after the only goat they rear and her father goes out in search of any little work he can get.
Her day starts with the sun and sets with it,  the only thing she dreams about though is a sunny day where she can play all time with her friends  on the mountain top. Alas, most days are now shrouded by the dark clouds that have started to hover over her world, gripping her with an unfamiliar fondness. The sun never shines brightly these days and her friends hardly come out to play.

- Devashish Palkar

''Confused chicken: An autobiography''

''Confused chicken: An autobiography''

Last evening one of my cousins was crossing the streets of Mumbai and got killed. There were some fresh earthworms coming out from the gutter line and as he has been well-taught, 'early bird catches the worm', so he decided to run fast across the street for a sumptuous dinner. But, as he reached on the divider, he saw Uddhav Thackeray and his men ready with swords and knives to kill him. It was a ruse. He quickly turned back and saw Maharashtra CM, Devendra Fadnavis on the other side of the road and decided he should rush back to Fadnavis for protection. In that frenzied moment, as he turned back, an over speeding car hit him and tossed him up in the air, higher than he had ever flown, and killed him. I strongly suspect, Salman Khan's driver was driving the car. Anyways, i want to stay away from that debate. I will let you humans discuss that. But yes, if  Kailash Kher was present there at that moment, he would definitely have sung, ''Toota toota ek parinda aise toota ke phir judna paaya!''
This is just one of the incidents to describe the dire conditions of my flock. We chickens aren't just food! We're birds too. When we are alive, nobody loves us except probably Joey and Chandler in 'Friends' who kept my elder NRI cousin as their pet. In India though, the conditions are far worse for us. We are not cows for Hindus to consider us holy. We re not pigs either to be saved from travelling a Muslim's colon!
We're chickens. And now you humans are politicising us. And even making satires on us as if butter chicken and chicken burgers don't satisfy you. You're obsessed with us. Don't get us into this political melange. And if you think we've become that important for nation, may be declare us as your National Bird by replacing that snobbish peacock. If you impose ban on nonveg food, we will stay alive for the winter, catch swine flu and then you'll kill us for that. We're as such doomed. Please let us know how you're going to kill us. Personally, I would prefer dying in an air conditioned KFC outlet when I am desired by people than to be killed like an abominable thing when I get infected with Swine flu.
Please end this misery and the mystery. It's becoming a sort of curiosity for us regarding how we're going to die. How we came into this world is still a mystery- The egg came first or the hen? Don't let death become a mystery too. If you don't do it soon, we will commit suicide by standing in front of Salman's car and then you'll be able to continue with new debates and news stories. May be you humans need to revise that quote -
''Curiousity kills the cat.. and also the chicken!''

(P.S. This is just a work of pure fiction+ eccentricity!!)

- Devashish Palkar

The IMMORTALS of KARGIL- The battle for tricolour

'The IMMORTALS of KARGIL'

''Atop the cold blankets of snow.
A dark conspiracy was what they planned
To throttle our sacred nation. 
With their wicked plans and ammunition..
But little did they know their ambush would backfire..
And when the snow started to melt, 
Their cowardice was out in open..
A battle was on and our brave jawaans marched along..
The tiger hill had to be regained
The battle of Kargil had begun..
The firing bullets roared the cold skies..
Destroying every atom of the enemy's existence.
Blood was shed from our side too..
And sacrifices made..
As the entire nation watched in bated breath..
And with silent teardrops on their eyes.
As the heroes became martyrs 
As mothers lost their sons.
And sons lost their fathers. 
And many more widowed wives..
But little did they care about their own lives.
As scars became their ornaments and martyrdom  became their life time achievement award..
And in that moment they became unafraid of death itself.
As the nation demanded salvation.
And human lives were just instruments
In the gory battle of attrition.. 

They fought and fought till their breaths allowed.
Even as the bullets pierced their very hearts.
Until the fluttering tricolor was hoisted back in its safe place..
Martyrs did not die.
History made them immortals..''

P.S.- As I write this, there are soldiers in readiness guarding our frontiers so that I can make this blog..
Countless sleepless nights in the chilly snows of Kargil and dreadful hot days in the summer months of Rajasthan. All for one reason- To keep the tricolour fluttering high!!
They stand there unflinchingly even as our celebrated leaders enjoy their afternoon siesta in lok  sabha or just bunk it and run away to desolate places for months together. Even as a meagre 25 opposition party members halt the proceedings of the Parliament. And even as Arnab Goswami cribs and cries and roars and shouts and verbally rips apart the Pakistani delegates. They stand there, even as our leaders go out of their way to help a special convict reach out to his ailing spouse, not bothering about their dying parents and ailing children, much less caring for their own lives..
I am full of guilt as i write this, but I don't think we do justice to their sacrifices by whiling our time on nonsense petty talks and sheepish entertainment..
On this independence day, I wish to salute all the jawaans who sacrificed their lives for protecting us day in day out... For this is the least I can do..

- Devashish Palkar

Yakub vs Kalam- Does Religion actually matter?

''Yakub vs Kalam!''

The small town of Rameshwaram is one of the most revered places for Hindus. The Rameswaram temple and the confluence of the seas, the Vivekananda rock memorial only add to its glory.
Thursday witnessed an alarming increase in the worshipers. No, they hadn't come to visit the temple, but to pay homage to a rare and proud son of the land, APJ Abdul Kalam. His religion- Muslim by birth, India by deeds.
Incidentally, in another part of the country, there was much noise and outrage amidst wild celebrations after President and Supreme Court denied Yakub Memon, the mercy plea. Some scholars and seculars argued that Yakub's crime didn't deserve a death sentence. They took the battle to twitter as well.  Shashi Tharoor tweeted that the entire concept of death penalty by state should be done away with.
Yakub was definitely a terrorist as the judiciary found it, in the same manner that they found Sreesanth and Salman not guilty. Whether he deserved a death sentence or not is a matter of irrelevant debate. May I put forward a simple question-
Did the people who die, directly or indirectly because of Yakub deserve to die?
What would happen if you didn't hang him? He would become a liability on state. The taxpayer's money would be wasted to feed him when there are already 100 thousand hungry, underfed Indians everyday. Being a criminal, the biggest advantage is, you never die hungry. A poor common man has no such privilege.
A cockroach is of no use, that's  why we need to kill it.
The same people challenging the Supreme Court judgement didn't protest when Salman was set free. Where were you, Naseeruddin sahab?
The disgusting political leaders like, Asaduddin Owaisi politicised the issue by saying that Muslims were being unfairly treated in India.
But, deep down in the town of Rameswaram, his baseless arguments were proved horribly wrong.
A Muslim man died at age 84 and the Hindus, Buddhists and Christians and Muslims were united in grief, in paying homage to the leader they loved..

Yakub and Kalam sahab were both born as Muslims. Kalam sahab chose India as his religion by the richness of life he left behind.
This just goes on to show that, you may be a Muslim or a Hindu or anyone else, what matters is the quality of work you leave behind. Respect doesn't see religion.
Respect sees character..
IF your deeds resonate more powerfully then, it doesn't  really matter where you come from. Every Muslim isn't  a terrorist in the same manner that every Marathi isn't Raj Thackeray and every Bihari isn't  Lalu Prasad Yadav.
May be, one day, people like Owaisi, who are a bigger threat to the nation  than Yakub will understand..
Rameswaram. It was here that Ram built bridge to Lanka to go and slay the demon king, Ravana. Today again, Rameswaram's son has given us a reason to strengthen our bridges, and not get divided by the politicised opinions of power crazy politicians like Owaisi..
Till then, on humanitarian grounds, I will pray for the souls of both- Kalam sahab and Yakub, for this is what my religion and culture has taught me.
May be, Yakub was not the only one who deserved to be hanged.. Our anti-national religious dogmas too needed to be hanged..
#RIP