''Confused chicken: An autobiography''
Last evening one of my cousins was crossing the streets of Mumbai and got killed. There were some fresh earthworms coming out from the gutter line and as he has been well-taught, 'early bird catches the worm', so he decided to run fast across the street for a sumptuous dinner. But, as he reached on the divider, he saw Uddhav Thackeray and his men ready with swords and knives to kill him. It was a ruse. He quickly turned back and saw Maharashtra CM, Devendra Fadnavis on the other side of the road and decided he should rush back to Fadnavis for protection. In that frenzied moment, as he turned back, an over speeding car hit him and tossed him up in the air, higher than he had ever flown, and killed him. I strongly suspect, Salman Khan's driver was driving the car. Anyways, i want to stay away from that debate. I will let you humans discuss that. But yes, if Kailash Kher was present there at that moment, he would definitely have sung, ''Toota toota ek parinda aise toota ke phir judna paaya!''
This is just one of the incidents to describe the dire conditions of my flock. We chickens aren't just food! We're birds too. When we are alive, nobody loves us except probably Joey and Chandler in 'Friends' who kept my elder NRI cousin as their pet. In India though, the conditions are far worse for us. We are not cows for Hindus to consider us holy. We re not pigs either to be saved from travelling a Muslim's colon!
We're chickens. And now you humans are politicising us. And even making satires on us as if butter chicken and chicken burgers don't satisfy you. You're obsessed with us. Don't get us into this political melange. And if you think we've become that important for nation, may be declare us as your National Bird by replacing that snobbish peacock. If you impose ban on nonveg food, we will stay alive for the winter, catch swine flu and then you'll kill us for that. We're as such doomed. Please let us know how you're going to kill us. Personally, I would prefer dying in an air conditioned KFC outlet when I am desired by people than to be killed like an abominable thing when I get infected with Swine flu.
Please end this misery and the mystery. It's becoming a sort of curiosity for us regarding how we're going to die. How we came into this world is still a mystery- The egg came first or the hen? Don't let death become a mystery too. If you don't do it soon, we will commit suicide by standing in front of Salman's car and then you'll be able to continue with new debates and news stories. May be you humans need to revise that quote -
''Curiousity kills the cat.. and also the chicken!''
(P.S. This is just a work of pure fiction+ eccentricity!!)
- Devashish Palkar
Last evening one of my cousins was crossing the streets of Mumbai and got killed. There were some fresh earthworms coming out from the gutter line and as he has been well-taught, 'early bird catches the worm', so he decided to run fast across the street for a sumptuous dinner. But, as he reached on the divider, he saw Uddhav Thackeray and his men ready with swords and knives to kill him. It was a ruse. He quickly turned back and saw Maharashtra CM, Devendra Fadnavis on the other side of the road and decided he should rush back to Fadnavis for protection. In that frenzied moment, as he turned back, an over speeding car hit him and tossed him up in the air, higher than he had ever flown, and killed him. I strongly suspect, Salman Khan's driver was driving the car. Anyways, i want to stay away from that debate. I will let you humans discuss that. But yes, if Kailash Kher was present there at that moment, he would definitely have sung, ''Toota toota ek parinda aise toota ke phir judna paaya!''
This is just one of the incidents to describe the dire conditions of my flock. We chickens aren't just food! We're birds too. When we are alive, nobody loves us except probably Joey and Chandler in 'Friends' who kept my elder NRI cousin as their pet. In India though, the conditions are far worse for us. We are not cows for Hindus to consider us holy. We re not pigs either to be saved from travelling a Muslim's colon!
We're chickens. And now you humans are politicising us. And even making satires on us as if butter chicken and chicken burgers don't satisfy you. You're obsessed with us. Don't get us into this political melange. And if you think we've become that important for nation, may be declare us as your National Bird by replacing that snobbish peacock. If you impose ban on nonveg food, we will stay alive for the winter, catch swine flu and then you'll kill us for that. We're as such doomed. Please let us know how you're going to kill us. Personally, I would prefer dying in an air conditioned KFC outlet when I am desired by people than to be killed like an abominable thing when I get infected with Swine flu.
Please end this misery and the mystery. It's becoming a sort of curiosity for us regarding how we're going to die. How we came into this world is still a mystery- The egg came first or the hen? Don't let death become a mystery too. If you don't do it soon, we will commit suicide by standing in front of Salman's car and then you'll be able to continue with new debates and news stories. May be you humans need to revise that quote -
''Curiousity kills the cat.. and also the chicken!''
(P.S. This is just a work of pure fiction+ eccentricity!!)
- Devashish Palkar
