Sunday 3 May 2015

''Irfan Pathan offered a role of SITTING President of Russia!''

At this year's IPL auction, Irfan Pathan went unsold for the first round. But then CSK realized the need to have more drinksmen so they bought him in the squad.. He has since been warming the already hot benches of the CSK dugout.
Reports are coming that Vladimir Putin wants Irfan Pathan to come to Russia as the 'Winter Is Coming' and he will need somone to warm his Chair. And who else can do it better than Irfan!!
According to sources, his family members are excited with the news! Irfan's dad was quoted as saying- ''I always believed my son would do something big! I wanted him to take the position of Kapil Dev bt its a moment of pride that he will now be sitting on the same chair as Putin! Inshallah, the god is great!''
But there are reports that Shiv Sena is miffed with this proposal. Uddhav Thackeray was quoted as saying, ''This will harm the Indo- Russia relations. Irfan is a Muslim. He has been out of India side for more than 2 years now. Who knows, he could well have turned into a Pakistani agent?!''
To this,  Maulvi of Jama Masjid reported that, ''Uddhav Thackeray is mad. Does he not know the fact that Irfan demolished my great Pakistani batsmen with a hat trick?!'' To which Uddhav Thackeray commented- ''And still we lost the game! '' asserting his love for Indo-Pak games..
Meanwhile, MS Dhoni is pretty unhappy with all this fuss. He has secretly approached Mitchell Starc through his contacts with another bench warmer, Mike Hussey and has requested Starc to donate his stem cells to Irfan Pathan so that he may start bowling well again..
Meanwhile, Mitchell Starc was unavailable for comments.. According to CSK management, the plan before the start of IPL was to keep swapping the role of Bench warmer between Ashish Nehra and Irfan Pathan. But Ashish Nehra's unexpected good form has changed all the equations!
If Irfan keeps going on and off to Russia for warming the chairs, it will beat the record of foreign visits set by PM Narendra Modi,  who is very nervous after learning this news.
Modi has even unofficially sent a whatsapp message to Ashish Nehra pleading him to return to bad form!! Modi has also been sending videos of Ashish Nehra's earlier spells where the bowler used to distribute runs at will for free..
Narendra Modi has also appointed a standing committe with N.Srinivasan as the head to FIX this matter straight!!
Meanwhile, Yograj Singh was quoted as saying- ''Dhoni is responsible for all this. My son deserved to go to Russia. Bt there's a CSK conspiracy behind it! It's biased!''

The next game of CSK will surely generate more hype than the Mayweather vs Manny Pacquio match.
P.S.- Irfan Pathan was unavailable for comments as Ashish Nehra applied FeviQuick to his trousers and Irfan is still stuck to the bench at Chinnaswamy stadium..
-Devashish Palkar
(P.S.- This is a REALLY FAKE article! ;-) )
😛😜

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